Why I feel alone ...

Even though I live with my family and have "props" to talk to ... I still feel utterly alone and the preparations for Truth / OnlyThing are brutal and tormenting.

Its like the only people who are truly alive and not zombies exist only on a computer screen in a forum on a website somewhere in cyberspace. So far away.

Its getting unbearable. The Emerald is one of the few things left that keeps me wanting to continue the simulation, for the sake of not wanting to end this one and wind up in another with the same deception.

Its such a debilitating thought to surrender to people/props that hate me and think I'm a freakish sick person. How do I surrender to these bastards ... ?? How do I surrender to this FALSITY ? !