Connecting with my TST...at last.

Since arriving at the Blue Emerald many teachings/unteachings were easy enough to grasp but I lacked insight into my translucent symbiotic twin (TST).  I just couldn't quite 'get it.' 

It felt like I had one foot on the boat and one still in the water. A few members offered helpful props and words to which I was grateful, but Intellectual understanding is not enough. Debbie needs REVELATION.  

In frustration I backed off.  Without foundation stones properly laid why attempt to build on it?  

The quantities of new reading material arriving on the scene felt overwhelming. Never a fast reader, it seemed too much for me. Perhaps I and TBE were but two ships who passed in the night.

I stopped taking alchemy.  

Unable to completely let go, every once in a while I would venture back in and have a look around.  

After a conversation with Susan I decided to give it another go...on one condition.  If Spirit Source wants me in this circle I am going to need a personal understanding of my TST.  

On the day of the Venus Transit I looked forward to the evening. I had plans to watch live coverage on TV, then later on build a fire,  watch the moon come up and do some meditation. I also asked that tonight I might receive some some clarification on my TST.  

Mother Moon chose not to reveal Herself but remained behind a veil of clouds. So I visited with the neighborhood frogs instead, (frog is one of my totem animals). I was thoroughly enthralled as two put on a show for me, demonstrating how they catch their next meal.   Spirit revealed to me the lesson of the frog:  Patience. Sit very still and wait. When a bug comes into view, wait until its back is turned, then zero in on it and snatch it without hesitation.  

Part of a psalm came to mind: They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. 

I felt like a Goddess smiling down on Her creation and delighting in the antics of Her little frogs. This put me in mind of TST, so I closed my eyes and entered a meditative state and asked again.  I became the frog.  Within a short period of time, a movie screen appeared in my mind.  On the screen I saw a video visual of myself. Then a second version of myself emerged and grew larger.   So there was me and a larger PERFECTED version of me smiling at each other.

I instantly thought of the little jingle "I, me and myself" and laughed out loud.

My mind had grasped how the two coexisted in this flesh body.

In back and top of my mind I found the throne room (if you will) or 'dwelling place' where my higher self sits and directs, detached and yet available at any instant.  I felt My higher self down-shift into my lower self.   Ahhh, where the lower mind is made subject to the flesh, and where I have spent most of human experience living or mentally processing.  

I was seeing it. I got it. REVELATION!

I heard a voice echo in my head,  "It's simple really," and laughed out loud again, because it WAS simple. (So simple to understand....ONCE you see. But until you see, you lack.  We lack because we don't ask. )

Some of Jason's words arrived as if on cue: When Jesus prayed to His Father, He was actually praying to His Higher Self, His TST.  (Before I really struggled with this,... or my Ego struggled with it. )

Oh AGAIN!! I see!   Some biblical passages are equipped to provide a truth upon a truth upon a truth.

My thoughts continued, as they typically do while I'm revelating. 

Well, if Jesus, as a man,  spoke to His TST as Father, then perhaps women should speak to theirs as Mother.

Oh AGAIN!! I see!  

You see, I had a vision years ago where Jesus opened a undisclosed door to me into another paradigm, where a beautiful woman sat at a table working steadily with Her hands.  Jesus had a grin on His face from ear to ear. She looked up at me and threw out Her arms to me, as if longing to hold me. I KNEW Her instantly. She was my Mother. Mother God. But I couldn't cross the threshold. Forbidden to do so.  

I felt so special, getting to see something or Some ONE very few get to see.

Since that time I have been on quest to 'unveil' Mother God.  

But now... to see MY Mother as the better part of ME?

Truly I am blessed.

Of course all of this happened way faster than the time it took me to type and edit it.

I have since discovered that by pushing Play on the little video I can quickly reaccess my Greater Me.  

I plan on using this to help me detach from emotional situations and ego dramas until it becomes second nature (ha ha). 

Now it's easier to connect with my crown chakra from within .  I struggled with that before. 

I also recognized fear had been a factor, blocking the way to new thought. Once on the other side looking back, it seemed silly. There was nothing to fear at all.  

So now I resume my passage on The Blue Emerald.

Equipped with fresh new alchemy, gifted from Susan for watching her place and animals and....frogs, I press on...